What If I Get It Wrong?

By Caroline Davis, Inner Freedom EFT

When I first started doing EFT tapping practice sessions, I was almost panicked about doing something wrong.

I remember trying to hold everything I had learned in my head. What should I ask next? Which technique should I use? What if something unexpected came up?

And underneath all of that were the bigger fears:

What if I make it worse?

What if they get mad at me?

What if I’m in over my head?

I had learned the techniques. I had practiced. I had people supporting me as I learned.

But now there was an actual person sitting across from me, trusting me with something that mattered to them.

And I really wanted to get it right.

In my mind, getting it wrong didn’t mean simply stumbling over my words or having an awkward moment.

The imagined consequences could become enormous.

What if I somehow mess this person up?

Looking back, I don’t think my desire to get it right was entirely a bad thing.

I cared about the people I was working with. I wanted to help them. I wanted to be responsible. I took what I was doing seriously.

But when getting something wrong feels as though it could have consequences that big, it makes sense that we might desperately want to find the “right” way.

And sometimes that search for the “right” way can become its own kind of struggle.

When Caring Becomes “I Have to Get This Right”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do something well.

Sometimes the desire to get something right comes precisely because it matters to us.

We care about the outcome.

We care about the other person.

We care about doing a good job.

But there can be a subtle shift between:

I really want to do this well.

and:

I have to get this right.

For me, getting it right seemed to mean knowing exactly what to do.

I wanted to recognize what was important. Ask the right questions. Use the right words. Know where the tapping session should go. Know what to do if something unexpected came up.

And underneath that was something else I didn’t recognize at the time.

I didn’t yet trust myself to know what to do if things didn’t go according to plan.

Of course, some of that made sense.

I was a beginner.

There were skills I was still developing. There were things I genuinely didn’t know yet. Experience would teach me things that training alone couldn’t.

But the less certain I felt about what to do, the more my mind seemed to want a guarantee that I would do it right.

And because the consequences I was imagining felt so big, uncertainty itself began to feel dangerous.

I think part of me believed that eventually, with enough training and enough experience, I would stop feeling uncertain because I would finally know the “right” way to do it.

That isn’t quite what happened.

I Thought Confidence Would Mean Knowing What to Do

As I gained more experience with EFT, the fear gradually settled.

Part of that was because I really was becoming more skilled.

But something else was changing too.

I found that my tapping sessions felt more natural and responsive when I wasn’t so focused on conducting them the “right” way.

Instead of trying to anticipate exactly where we should go, I could listen to the person in front of me.

I could notice what was actually coming up.

I could validate their experience instead of trying to move them somewhere else.

I could ask a question and see where the answer led.

I could slow down.

I could adjust.

And I came to understand that being able to hold space for someone mattered alongside knowing the techniques.

I didn’t become more confident because I finally knew exactly what was going to happen.

I became more confident because my skills grew—and because I learned that I could respond when I didn’t know exactly what would happen next.

Sometimes we think confidence will come when we finally know how to do something perfectly. But sometimes confidence comes from discovering we don’t have to.

What If Readiness Doesn’t Require Certainty?

Maybe you’ve experienced your own version of this.

Maybe there’s something you’d love to create, but you keep telling yourself you need to know more first.

Maybe there’s a role you’d like to step into, but you’re waiting to feel completely ready.

Maybe there’s a conversation you want to have, but you’re trying to figure out exactly what to say before you have it.

Maybe there’s something you’d like to try, pursue, or change—but you can’t quite guarantee what will happen if you do.

Sometimes more preparation really is needed.

We may need more information. More training. More practice. More support.

There are times when I don’t know how to do this yet is useful information.

But what if it doesn’t always mean I’m not ready?

Part of learning anything new is giving ourselves permission not to know how to do it yet.

That sounds obvious when we’re clearly beginners.

But what happens when we feel as though we’re no longer allowed to be one?

I should know this by now.

I shouldn’t need help with this.

I shouldn’t still be making this mistake.

If I were really good at this, I’d know what to do.

Suddenly, getting something wrong can start to feel like evidence about us rather than part of learning.

And being a beginner doesn’t only mean taking your first pottery class or starting a new job.

You may have had hundreds of difficult conversations—but you’ve never had this conversation before.

You may have made countless decisions—but you’ve never made this one.

You may have years of experience in a relationship, a career, parenting, or simply being yourself—and still find yourself facing something you’ve never had to navigate before.

Life has a way of continually putting us in new territory.

Maybe being ready doesn’t always mean knowing exactly what to do.

Maybe sometimes it means knowing enough to take the next step—and trusting ourselves to meet what happens when we get there.

To listen.

To respond.

To adjust.

To ask for help.

To change course.

To admit when we don’t know.

To learn something we couldn’t have learned before we began.

And if we didn’t have to be completely certain first, what might open up?

What conversation might we finally have?

What might we create?

What might we try before we’re completely sure we’re ready?

What might we learn only by beginning?

An Inner Freedom Practice

Is there something you want to do—but part of you is holding back because you’re afraid you might get it wrong?

Maybe there’s a conversation you want to have. Something new you’d like to try. A decision you want to make. A next step you’d like to take.

And maybe part of you is thinking:

What if I get it wrong?

For this week’s Inner Freedom Practice, we’ll use EFT tapping to gently explore some of the fear and pressure around getting it right—and see whether we can create a little more space to trust ourselves as we move forward.

Not because we can guarantee how things will turn out.

But because perhaps we don’t have to know exactly what will happen before we take the next step.

Join me here:

What Does “Getting It Wrong” Mean to You?

The more I think about this, the more I realize that getting it wrong doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.

For me, when I was first learning EFT tapping, the fear could become:

What if I make things worse?

For someone else, getting it wrong might mean:

Someone will be disappointed in me.

Or:

They’ll think I don’t know what I’m doing.

I’ll be criticized.

I’ll embarrass myself.

I’ll cause a problem I don’t know how to fix.

It will prove I wasn’t ready after all.

Two people can both think I have to get this right and have completely different fears underneath.

We don’t necessarily have to know where those fears came from.

We don’t have to immediately decide whether they’re true or untrue.

But we can begin to get curious about them.

The next time you notice yourself worrying about whether you’re doing something right, perhaps you could gently ask:

What have I come to believe getting it wrong means?

And maybe there’s another question worth asking too:

What if I’m allowed to still be learning?

Getting something wrong doesn’t always mean we weren’t ready.

Sometimes it means we’re learning.

Sometimes it means we’re doing something we haven’t done before.

Sometimes reality didn’t follow the plan, and we’re being asked to adapt.

And sometimes it simply means we’re human.

Maybe there will always be new situations where we don’t know exactly what to do.

Maybe confidence isn’t reaching a point where that never happens.

Maybe it’s gradually learning that we can meet those moments with a little more flexibility, curiosity, and trust in ourselves.

Perhaps we don’t have to earn the right to begin by knowing exactly what we’re doing.

Maybe we never lose permission to be beginners.

If You’d Like Some Additional Support

Sometimes the fear of getting something wrong is about the situation in front of us.

And sometimes we discover there’s something more underneath it.

If you notice that fear of making a mistake, disappointing someone, or not knowing exactly what to do repeatedly keeps you from moving toward things that matter to you, EFT tapping can offer a gentle way to explore what may be contributing to that reaction.

If you’re curious about how EFT tapping can support change when understanding something intellectually hasn’t been enough, you can read more about how EFT works with both the mind and body.

In individual tapping sessions, we don’t decide ahead of time what your fear “means” or where it came from. We start with your experience and get curious about what emerges.

If you’re curious about working together or would like to explore whether EFT tapping might be a good fit for you, you’re welcome to reach out through my contact form. I’d be happy to connect with you.

With compassion,
Caroline
Inner Freedom EFT
Inner Freedom. Healing Beyond.