What If I Try—and It Doesn’t Work?

By Caroline Davis, Inner Freedom EFT

There’s something you’ve been wanting to do.

Maybe it’s starting a business, taking a class, exploring a new career, opening yourself to a new relationship, or finally sharing something you’ve created.

Just thinking about it brings a little spark of excitement.

You can imagine what it might be like. The possibilities. What you might learn or experience. Where it could lead.

And then, almost before you’ve had a chance to enjoy the thought, another one appears.

But what if it doesn’t work?

Suddenly, you’re imagining all the things that could go wrong.

The money you might spend. The time you might waste. The disappointment you might feel.

And maybe something even more uncomfortable.

What if I discover I’m just not capable of doing this?

It’s reasonable to consider the risks of trying something new. Sometimes there are important practical questions we need to answer before moving forward.

But what if the possibility of something not working out begins to feel like something more than a disappointing outcome?

It starts to feel like a judgment about ourselves.

When Failing at Something Feels Like Being a Failure

Imagine putting your heart into something you really want.

You make the investment. You do the work. You give it a genuine chance.

And it doesn’t turn out the way you’d hoped.

Maybe the business doesn’t grow. The opportunity doesn’t materialize. The relationship doesn’t develop as you’d hoped. The creative project doesn’t receive the response you imagined.

There may be disappointment, frustration, sadness, or regret.

But sometimes another feeling appears alongside those very understandable reactions.

A sense of personal failure.

I should have known better.

Maybe I’m just not capable of doing this.

I must not have tried hard enough.

What was I thinking?

Suddenly, we’re not just dealing with something that didn’t work out.

We’re dealing with what we believe it says about who we are.

And if we’ve learned to interpret disappointing outcomes as evidence of our own inadequacy, it’s understandable that we might hesitate before putting ourselves in that position again.

Where Did We Learn That Failure Means Something About Us?

We live in a culture that places considerable emphasis on achievement.

From an early age, we are evaluated through grades, performance, accomplishments, and comparisons with others.

We learn to work hard, improve, and strive for success.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to do well or taking pride in what we accomplish.

But somewhere along the way, we may begin to confuse how well we perform with how much we’re worth.

Our individual experiences can reinforce that message.

Perhaps mistakes were met with criticism rather than understanding.

Maybe disappointment from someone important felt especially painful.

Or perhaps we learned that being capable, responsible, and successful was an important way to earn approval or feel secure.

Often these beliefs develop gradually, through many small experiences. Or they may arise from one particularly significant moment.

However they develop, we can carry these beliefs into adulthood without fully recognizing how they’re shaping our choices.

A disappointing outcome isn’t simply disappointing anymore.

It can feel like confirmation of something we’ve been afraid might be true about ourselves.

When Personal Growth Becomes Another Way to Measure Ourselves

There’s another version of this pattern that I find particularly interesting.

Many of us have spent years learning about ourselves.

We’ve read books, attended workshops, practiced mindfulness, explored healing approaches, or worked to understand the beliefs and patterns that influence our lives.

And that work can be genuinely valuable.

But sometimes personal growth begins to carry its own expectations.

We start believing that if we understand ourselves well enough, clear enough limiting beliefs, or become sufficiently confident, we should be able to create the outcomes we want.

And if things don’t work out?

Maybe we assume there’s something else we haven’t healed.

Another belief we need to change.

Another way we need to improve ourselves.

We can end up holding ourselves responsible not only for the effort we put into something, but for whether the outcome matches what we hoped to achieve.

Yet so much of life lies beyond our individual control.

Other people have their own choices. Circumstances change. Opportunities develop or disappear. Sometimes our best efforts simply don’t produce the results we imagined.

That doesn’t mean we have no influence over our lives.

It means influence and control aren’t the same thing.

And perhaps healing doesn’t have to become another requirement we must fulfill before we’re allowed to try.

What Happens When You Imagine Trying?

If there’s something you’ve been wanting to pursue but haven’t quite moved forward with, you might take a moment to imagine actually doing it.

Not just thinking about the idea.

Imagine taking the step.

Signing up. Making the investment. Sharing your work. Having the conversation. Beginning.

What happens inside?

Maybe there’s excitement.

Maybe there’s anxiety.

Perhaps a thought appears almost immediately:

Yes, but what if it doesn’t work?

Or:

What if I embarrass myself?

What if I waste all that time and money?

What if I discover I’m not as capable as I thought?

Sometimes the response isn’t a clear thought at all.

You might notice tightness in your stomach, tension in your chest, or a feeling of pulling back.

These responses don’t necessarily mean you’re making the wrong choice.

And they don’t automatically mean you should push ahead, either.

But they may be worth getting curious about.

What are you imagining might happen?

What feels uncomfortable about that possibility?

And if things didn’t work out as hoped, what might you find yourself believing about yourself?

Making Room for What We’re Afraid Of

This is one of the ways I use EFT tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) in my work.

Rather than trying to convince ourselves that everything will turn out well, we can gently explore what happens when we imagine that it might not.

We might begin with a “yes, but” such as:

What if I try and fail?

And notice the emotion or physical sensation that accompanies it.

Perhaps there’s fear, embarrassment, sadness, or a familiar sense of not being good enough.

As we tap, we can give those responses some attention without immediately trying to argue with them or make them disappear.

Sometimes a particular memory or belief comes to mind.

Sometimes we simply become more aware of the pressure we’ve been placing on ourselves.

And sometimes we discover that the practical concerns are still very real, but they no longer carry quite the same emotional weight.

The goal isn’t to tap ourselves into taking a risk we’re not comfortable with.

It’s to create a little more room to consider what we genuinely want, what the practical realities are, and what may be influencing our response.

As some of the emotional intensity begins to settle, we may also find it easier to tune into our own inner wisdom—that quieter sense of what feels meaningful, appropriate, or true for us.

Not because our inner wisdom can guarantee an outcome, but because it deserves a place in the conversation alongside our fears and practical considerations.

We Can Take Responsibility Without Taking All the Blame

I think there’s an important distinction between acknowledging our role in an outcome and making that outcome a judgment about ourselves.

Sometimes we make choices that don’t serve us well.

We may overlook information, misjudge a situation, or discover that we weren’t as prepared as we thought.

There can be something valuable in recognizing those things.

We can learn. We can adjust. We can make different choices next time.

But we don’t have to turn every mistake or disappointment into evidence that we’re fundamentally inadequate.

And we don’t have to assume that every outcome is entirely our responsibility.

We can take our efforts seriously without making our worth dependent on their success.

Perhaps that’s part of what makes it possible to try something meaningful in the first place.

Not because we’ve eliminated every risk.

And not because we’ve convinced ourselves that failure would be wonderful.

But because we’re beginning to loosen the connection between what happens and what we believe it says about us.

An Inner Freedom Practice

If this brings to mind something you’ve been wanting to try, I invite you to explore it gently.

You don’t need to choose your biggest fear or the most consequential decision in your life.

Begin with something relatively manageable.

Imagine taking a step toward something you want.

Notice whether there’s a “yes, but…”

Perhaps it’s a thought about what might go wrong, an uncomfortable feeling, or a sensation somewhere in your body.

This week’s Inner Freedom Practice uses EFT tapping to explore some of what may be underneath that hesitation.

We won’t try to convince ourselves that everything will work out.

And we won’t try to force ourselves to move forward.

Instead, we’ll make room for whatever arises when we imagine trying something that matters to us, even without a guarantee of success.

Join me here.

What If It Doesn’t Work?

I don’t think the answer is to pretend failure doesn’t matter.

Of course it can matter.

We may lose something important. We may feel disappointed. We may need to rethink our plans or begin again.

But perhaps we can begin to question the belief that an unsuccessful outcome means we’re unsuccessful people.

Something can be worth pursuing even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed.

We can care deeply about how it turns out without making that outcome the measure of who we are.

And maybe we don’t have to become a different, more confident, more capable version of ourselves before we give something meaningful a chance.

Perhaps we can begin from where we are.

With our hopes, our uncertainties, our practical considerations, and all the parts of ourselves that want to feel safe.

Not knowing exactly how things will turn out.

But beginning to recognize that whatever happens, we’re still worthy of our own compassion.

If You’d Like Some Additional Support

Sometimes we can recognize that we’re afraid of failing and still have a hard time navigating through it.

There may be earlier experiences, expectations, or beliefs that make the prospect of trying something new feel especially vulnerable.

EFT tapping offers a way to gently explore the thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, and experiences connected with those fears.

When we work together, the goal isn’t to convince you to make a particular choice or tell you what you should do.

Instead, we can explore what’s underneath the hesitation, helping you make choices with greater awareness, self-compassion, and freedom.

If you’d like to explore what working together might look like, I invite you to reach out through my contact form to share the type of support you’re looking for and learn about scheduling a complimentary Discovery Call.

With compassion,

Caroline
Inner Freedom EFT
Inner Freedom. Healing Beyond.